Dude Sabrina, check out my nose
My hair isn't done and I have no makeup on, but I HAVE BOOBS NOW, and the photo evidence is in. God, I am hot.It's been stressing me out, thinking about what the ladies will look like when The Bug is done with them, but I'm just going to not think about it, because nothing will be done about it.
***
I saw Evil Aunt in Colorado. It's just sad. She looks like a pumpkin in a fugly flowered shirt. I took her hand at one point and said, "Isn't it sad how designers make only ugly clothes in plus sizes?"
No, I didn't do that. I said, "Love that outfit. You think they make it in a size ten?"
I didn't say that, either. Sorry. It was all pretty benign. She tried to get dramatic, I shot her a look, she simmered down. She tried to get dramatic, I changed the subject, she simmered down. She could hardly get a word in, what with all the Bug worship that was happening at the table.
I instructed The Bug to scream when she held him, but he disobeyed me. I forgave him because he did one better: he took a massive shit instead. Awesome.
posted by Samus @ 7:35 PM
2 Comments:
"I forgave him because he did one better: he took a massive shit instead. Awesome."
This one made me giggle out loud. I love when my son (2 years old) cries or otherwise gets upset at the old cart ladies who seem to seek me and my boy out to harass us every single time we enter the grocery store.
i really like your nose. it is cute, has a delicate slope like the designs in rod-iron fences and it has a cute, understated ball at the tip.
my next piece for stupid sex-kitten is on noses. i could never be with a man if his nostrils were so0 big it looked like he could snort all of columbia up it. i could never be with a man if i didnt want to kiss his nose. i wonder if telling this to most men would totally detur them from ever asking me out--ever.
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