There's a weird, middle-aged, overweight man at work who likes to leer at me and make strange conversation while giving me the elevator.
I am not offended. God knows, if it weren't for this guy, my husband and Latino construction workers, no one would come on to me. It is, however, uncomfortable and annoying, at least for my ego.
It's happened before. Guys in offices flirt with girls in offices, and sometimes the office girls go out with the office guys and sometimes the office girls go to HR and sue the office guys. It's the last one I have a problem with.
Except in extreme circumstances, this can be avoided. Women know when they're being looked at. We know when the guy is talking and when he is flirting. It is the rare, sociopathic guy who will continue after the woman has turned Her Royal Highness the Ice Queen, which I did immediately, along with avoiding the guy's area altogether.
Women enjoy attention up to a point, even from men with whom they have no intention of ever having sex. Maybe my threshhold is just lower than most. Looking is fine, but when it comes to contact of any kind, my quills come out. Those blessed Latinos on the roof of the unfinished building are fine until they call out to me - then I break into the shittiest half-run half-walk you ever saw. Sort of Napoleon Dynamite-ish.
This man at the office hasn't taken to coming over to my cube, or approaching me, so things haven't had to go any further. Bitch mode has served me well thus far. I wouldn't think twice about telling someone that I was completely unavailable and uninterested, progressing to telling them privately that it was making me uncomfortable, and from there going higher up.
I just don't understand suing. Especially for millions. My dad instilled in me a sense of pride in earning the money I make, and I don't think that these chicks being slapped on the ass or forced to feel uncomfortable at work deserve millions. Especially the ones who work in this horrible environment for years and years then suddenly snap and go for the gold. Shouldn't something have been done sooner? Like say, immediately?
It reminds me of women who get married, have kids, lead productive lives, discover in therapy that they were abused as children, then center their lives around weepy support groups. Hi! This horrible thing happened to you thirty years ago. You have a family that needs you now. Time to deal and get over it.
Or maybe I'm just pissed off at the two Filipinas at work. I call them Filipinas because they call themselves that, but they barely make the cut. They talk like Valley Girls. They've never been to the Philippines. They don't speak the language. They know nothing about their culture, not even that the Spanish and then the U.S. occupied their country for a long time, changing their look, culture and language. But they love being Filipinas. It's their little Jesus handle, the thing they hold on to in this quickly-spinning world that gives them a semblance of community and self.
But it isn't real. At some point, you think that guy in his forties who can't stop talking about his football glory days in college needs to catch up with his life. That Newport divorcee with the fake boobs, tummy tuck, facelift and Juicy sweatsuit, too. Honesty sets us free, allows us to be human, even though it's hard at first.
I don't know how I got here from there. I like my husband, though. He's nice. My identity is being a part of my family, even though we aren't all the same color. Geography means less and less these days.
posted by Samus @ 3:44 PM
2 Comments:
I really liked this. It's great writing, right up until :
"Honesty sets us free, allows us to be human, even though it's hard at first.
I don't know how I got here from there. I like my husband, though. He's nice. My identity is being a part of my family, even though we aren't all the same color. Geography means less and less these days."
Up to that point there were some great observations, some really good work on getting someone to understand the female condition. I've heard this argument a lot before, but you really made it come to life, I felt as if I was offended right along with you. I also really liked the reaction to suits and why you think the way you do about them, great context.
The wrap up, was, the wrap up. I don't know if you needed it. If it was being published I think I'd either offer solutions or offer nothing at all, rather than your own successes. I don't mean to sound rude, because I really enjoyed this piece, but the end transformed it from great writing to blog writing, at least in my opinion.
On the whole though, even with the ending, this was some great stuff. Really excellent.
-M
Hey, thanks Michael. I usually come here to spew my most meandering bullshit. I like to think the publishable stuff is better, but now that I know someone besides Brendan is reading, I will pay better attention. Thanks much for reading.
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