All the Horrible Girliness

So right when Jordan's writing about needing constant validation and shit, I'm thinking I wish I didn't have so much.

School is good, except for class. I don't know if I'm the best one in class, okay. The idea is subjective. Many of those kids are better educated, better read, know more about form and whatever. Many of them are more talented. But none of them have had the time to work and fail and hate themselves and love themselves again and work harder and find the balance again and fall into a deep depression and publish something and fly around for about point two seconds until they fall into an even deeper chasm. Shit, I don't know if even my teacher has had to do all that.

So my stuff comes out a certain way. Maybe it's not what the teacher is used to seeing from 19-year olds. So she tells me she'd like for me to share a review of a poem I wrote, with the class. Then after I do that, I'm waiting for the other people to do it. And there is no one else.

My classmates are staring at me like it was my idea and KERBOOOOOOM. There goes any rapport I may have worked up with my fellow classmates.

Anyway, I'm drinking a beer now and the caring is just not happening anymore!

posted by Samus @ 10:20 PM